Look at the face! Those eyes, cheeks, little kissable lips. Of course I spoiled him (not with things but with lots of love and attention). Maybe I am paying the price for that now but in my defence he has always been an intense child pretty much from birth.
Is he is the sensitive child, the emotional child? I don’t know. I’ve worked with children for over 20 years and can figure out other people’s children pretty quickly but with my child I am completely blind and all my strategies fail me.
“Why am I always the one getting in trouble?” ( heart stab)
Well, let’s see your raging and screaming your head off and I need to get you out this situation ASAP.
He said this to me. He did this to me.
” You need to go upstairs”
More screaming and raging, refusing to move, refusing to let me calming walk/talk him through the situation
Now my patience is running out. I mean, I can only listen for so long to his rude words and disrespectful tone. So yes, now he is in trouble. Yet, he just doesn’t get this or so it seems but he is a smart kid.
After some calm down in this room. I get him on the coach for a talk and try to calming explain that if I walk into the house and the stove is on fire and the Christmas tree is on fire, I am going to put the Christmas tree out first because that is going to burn the house down and the stove second as the fire is not as large. I told him he is the Christmas tree. Then he starts plugging his ears and steam comes out of mine and off to bed he is sent.
He falls asleep in minutes with his clothes on. So all that because he was exhausted. I know sleep can be a major contributor for him.
Tomorrow is a new day, a fresh start and another chance for me to figure out how to best parent this child who is now 11 years old.
We are on week 3 of no electronics ( computer, video games, iPad). He is driving us crazy with his TV shows and he and his brother have taken to playing mini sticks again, hence the “big meltdown” this evening. I can hardly wait for his Christmas bedroom make over so he will have a new desk, chair and a reading corner. I am thinking I may start allowing some utube videos on the computer starting next week. We will see.
I do know that the excitement of Christmas with the late nights to come are triggers. I will work on my reactions to his behavior during this season. I am sure at times I am reactive ( but boys it is hard not to be after the 10th “frigging” out of his mouth).
That’s the plan: Less reactive, more listening when he is speaking calmly. Hey, I can do this! Maybe my training will finally work on my own kiddo.