I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions

This blog’s purpose is to be about everything positive in my world.From my family and friends, to my favourite things. But I also want it to be a reflection of my journey.  I learned at the ripe old age of 10 that bad things happening to good people. For some reason life wanted to keep giving me that lesson 2 more very difficult times.  Trust me I get it!

I wrote this one to describe my anxiety.

I wrote this one to describe my anxiety.

 I don’t expect to live a perfect life with no sorrow or without up and downs. I understand that each of us carries something and that no one is immune to tragedy.  Sadly, the person I once was is never coming back, she is not, I have accepted that, parts of her are there, some of the best parts but some parts are not so great.  I am learning to love both and developing a new confidence in her.

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I wrote this when I was starting to let go

I started journalling at about 11 years of age and have continued to do so throughout my life. Paper to pen is therapeutic, it is sometimes the only safe place to say the things you are afraid to say out loud.  You can write your biggest fears or your worst thoughts and then rip them up into tiny bits like they never existed. It can help you put together the tiny bits of your heart that have been torn apart. Journaling, can take you on a tour of your heartache and triumphs of  your life.

January 1, 2014

New year, new beginning. Wish I could say that new year and everything is wonderful and i am not still riding the waves of anxiety but I am even today. One minute I am feeling great, alive and ready to take on the world and the next I am worried about something and obsessing over a real or imagined aliment. But my wish is that I ride the anxiety wave less this year and that I can live a bit more carefree.

September  2014

I am living more carefree and thinking less about all the terrible things that could go wrong. And this makes me happy. It has been a long time coming. It is not always perfect and I have my moments but it is so much better.

As I was having a moment the other day I pulled out one of my many journals and found another entry dated March 17, 2012.  It was a list of declarations I declared over my life. I had forgot about this list as I have another set that I keep on my phone and read over more frequently.  I realized that these are the mottos for my life.   Like I said, while I don’t expect to live a perfect life free from pain and sorrow. I do pray to live free from heartbreaking tragedy or at least the  fear, anxiety and worry of it.

I have learned not to make New Year Resolutions, broken promises to yourself that just leave you feeling like a failure. Instead I declare my hopes, dreams and wishes to God and let him do the work.

Heading into 2015 once again…..

I declare I will be free from anxiety and fear.

I declare I will be an active mother to my children.

I declare I will raise Godly sons filled with love, kindness, gifts and talents.

I declare I will have a loving, vulnerable, fun marriage with my husband.

I declare I will have a happy, comfortable home that brings joy and peace to my family and friends.

I declare I will make a difference in the lives of children, leading them to their gifts and talents. Showing them that they can move above and beyond their circumstances.

I declare I will travel to new places and experience the world and activities that God has created for us to enjoy here on earth.

I declare longevity for my life.

I declare perfect divine health, free from all sickness, illness, infirmities, cancers for me and my family.

I declare I will have a true kindred spirit best friend.

I declare I will use my voice in song to bring others in the presence of God.

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One thought on “I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions

  1. Great goals! I agree making resolutions always leaves me thinking I am a failure when I break them weeks after the New Year so I stopped making them years ago. No point for needed stress. I have also been diagnosed with Anxiety and other disorders so I understand that part where everything can seem ok but in a matter of seconds everything changes. I get super anxiety in crowded places and when someone new approaches me, the panic sweat hits and that’s what I hope to work on the most this year. Hope you have a great 2015 ❤️ Janet

    Liked by 1 person

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