16! and ready to drive..Yikes!

For some reason I thought when my kids turned 16 they would just instantly know how to drive a car. I mean I taught them to feed, clothe and wipe their asses I figured I get a break on teaching them how to drive. But no, they don’t know how to drive automatically and you have to teach them.

I don’t remember learning how to drive, I got in the car and drove. I am sure someone taught me something but driving becomes so automatic you just get in the vehicle and drive. For the record, I did take driving lessons, that I had to pay for because my parents wouldn’t and if I didn’t take the lessons my mother wasn’t going to let me drive. AND I WAS GOING TO DRIVE. Driving was the first taste of FREEDOM, FREEDOM.

But I digress. Sitting in the vehicle with your 16 year old and knowing he has the potential to kill you…death by car accident going less than 40km is darn right FRIGING scary.  All these years you though you would be the one to kill them in their teens year, with ya know, the many challenges of raising a teen and then I (we) give them a car to DRIVE! with US in it and WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO DO THIS MORE THEN ONCE.

One of our first lessons is me teaching him reaction time. In order for me to feel an ounce of safety I need to know he can SLAM on that break quickly and not hit the gas accidentally. So picture this, Nick driving the Mom van…. and I call out break every so often… “break! …go…..break…..go…break…. go”.  Not bad… let’s take it on the road, well to the end of the cul da sac. He is driving…… GAS!! GAS!!! I shout. WTF MOM??? I mean BREAK! BREAK!. Enough for today.

I don’t know why you think that by gripping the arm rest of the passenger seat that it is going to save you in any way from his ridiculously fast right and left turns but somehow you are willing the car with all your brain power to make the turn, GOD PLEASE MAKE THIS TURN!! With OUT KILLING US OR THE CHILD ON THE BIKE! More importantly the child on the bike.

One day I decided I would give him the blizzard test.  What is this you ask?  No, I wasn’t assumulating a snow storm.   Before switching him to the drivers seat I purchased a blizzard from DQ. I was preparing for a nice relaxing enjoyable ride while enjoying my peanut something or other blizzard. I figured if he passed this test he was ready to graduate from the subdivisions and on to the roads with actual traffic and more then one car every 5-10 minutes.  I don’t even remember eating the darn thing. It was more like shovelling….. of peanuts and ice-cream into in my mouth to prevent me from screaming and crunching those poor little bastard peanuts to fine dust. I just had a thought! A stress ball!!!

He is getting better, especially when I am not in the car. Wonder why this is? Anyways, time to leave this job for the professionals. I could scar him for life and then he would never be able to leave home drive a car.

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Body Positivity Movement

I am joining the body positivity movement. I am optimistic that I can embrace the positivity. I am not getting any younger or thinner and starving myself is out of the question. I know very little about body positivity. I have been hating my body for pretty much all my life but mostly since I was about 25, so that is almost 20 years of hating my body and putting all myself worth into how flat my stomach is or is not, which it is not flat by any means. I have an arm load of reasons I am not getting skinny and why my muffin top is not shrinking. I loath my muffin top and now I am adding my upper arms to what I hate about my body. Okay, back fat too, I hate that as well, but see it less often since  it is behind me. See where this is going?

Here is my arm load of reasons (some may call excuses) why I am not getting skinny

  1. hyperthyroid
  2. menopause at 3o
  3. whacked out hormones
  4. IBS diet
  5. diets don’t work, I have done lots ( WW, clean eating, no carbs, reduced carbs, paleo, LA weight loss and the list continues, I have lost and gained the same 15 lbs I don’t know what many times)
  6. I have overcome too much shit in my life to never have ice-cream and birthday cake again
  7. I have many habits of “skinny” eaters and I still have a muffin top

 

I am sure there are a few more, if I want to spend the brain power thinking about them and no …..one of the reasons is not because I am lazy, unhealthy, unmotivated and overweight and making excuses.

Enter….. body positivity which to my understanding will help me blast these some of these myths and misconceptions  and once and for all I will love my body and appreciate all the does for me. Let the journey begin.

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I Don’t Make New Year Resolutions Volume 2

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I don’t make specific New Year resolutions because I know you can’t keep them just as I know diets don’t work. With every loss cell of collagen as you get older you actually do get wiser. Cost, benefit relationship.

As the kids get older the parenting gets less  intense, less hands on. They get more expensive, I wasn’t quite expecting that. They don’t need me like they use to. That brings about some sadness but at the same time I enjoy their independence. They need to be independent, honestly, before you know it they will be flying the coop. They need to know how to survive. I need to call off the helicopter and active the GSP. I will be broken hearted. Which is why I also must prepare and begin working on my life after kids. Saying that, I so wish I could freeze time. We are all at the perfect age. They need me but not too much, they are great to travel with, they can be left alone for periods of time, they are still young ducklings, not too grown up yet but able to make themselves a sandwich and not starve.

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So, why and I talking about my boys in this “I don’t make new year’s resolution post? ”

Because I want to freeze time. I have had an amazing year. I feel that despite the challenges I have, I have pushed through, maybe this year the pushes were less or the door wasn’t always as heavy. I just know that I am happy most of the time and I  am not afraid all of the time.

Aside from jetting off to live in some tropical destination to pursue my dreams of acting and singing. Splitting my time between living off the grid and in the penthouse in Las Vegas. Being happy most of the time and not afraid all the time is good enough. I will take it! Good enough is great. I did the hard work and the past year feels like a reward.

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Since I am not Elsa, from Frozen and I can not freeze time, only my fingers on the steering wheel. I know this year is coming to an end on the calendar. My boys will keep growing which makes me sad but I am excited about the adventures we will all have as a family.

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So once again for 2016 I declare…….

I declare I will be free from anxiety and fear.

I declare I will be an active mother to my children.

I declare I will raise Godly sons filled with love, kindness, gifts and talents.

I declare I will have a loving, vulnerable, fun marriage with my husband.

I declare I will have a happy, comfortable home that brings joy and peace to my family and friends.

I declare I will make a difference in the lives of children, leading them to their gifts and talents. Showing them that they can move above and beyond their circumstances.

I declare I will travel to new places and experience the world and activities that God has created for us to enjoy here on earth.

I declare longevity for my life.

I declare perfect divine health, free from all sickness, illness, infirmities, cancers for me and my family.

I declare I will have a true kindred spirit best friend.

I declare I will use my voice in song to bring others in the presence of God.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

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