It is that time of year again when I am planning a beach camping vacation and I need to purchase a swim suit. Last year it was a well thought out plan but one I wasn’t looking forward to. I am completely the person that will compare my body with those immediately around me and if they are slimmer then me I automatically cut myself down to the size of a grain of sand. My self worth becomes non-existence because I dump on myself for not being thin as well. (so keeping my fingers crossed for the exploration with body positivity)
I wasn’t planning to buying a swim suit yesterday but I made my way over to the rack anyways and said “why the hell not, maybe I will get lucky”.
And I DID! Maybe it was because my goal going into the dressing room was I will be happy if they just fit, they don’t have to look good, they just have to fit. With goal one in check, I started to check out all the other angles and of course looked to play up the assets and down play the mid-section. Check points on both and I went home with 2 new bathing suits that are very comfortable. I even purchased a panty style bottom which I rarely purchase or wear, I am a skirt bottom kind of girl.
I have to confess the bathing suit I purchased last year looks good but it is like getting into a SPANX. After I wrestle with the top and figure out which way is the front and get the straps situated, I want to fall exhausted on the bed. I didn’t wear this suit once when I was in the Bahamas this Spring. There is no last minute, “let’s go for a swim” and just toss on your swim suit. It takes time and patience and you need air conditioning blasting on you because look out if you are hot and sweating this suit is not going on easy.
Off to the beach I go……
I am joining the body positivity movement. I am optimistic that I can embrace the positivity. I am not getting any younger or thinner and starving myself is out of the question. I know very little about body positivity. I have been hating my body for pretty much all my life but mostly since I was about 25, so that is almost 20 years of hating my body and putting all myself worth into how flat my stomach is or is not, which it is not flat by any means. I have an arm load of reasons I am not getting skinny and why my muffin top is not shrinking. I loath my muffin top and now I am adding my upper arms to what I hate about my body. Okay, back fat too, I hate that as well, but see it less often since it is behind me. See where this is going?
Here is my arm load of reasons (some may call excuses) why I am not getting skinny
- menopause at 3o
- whacked out hormones
- IBS diet
- diets don’t work, I have done lots ( WW, clean eating, no carbs, reduced carbs, paleo, LA weight loss and the list continues, I have lost and gained the same 15 lbs I don’t know what many times)
- I have overcome too much shit in my life to never have ice-cream and birthday cake again
- I have many habits of “skinny” eaters and I still have a muffin top
I am sure there are a few more, if I want to spend the brain power thinking about them and no …..one of the reasons is not because I am lazy, unhealthy, unmotivated and overweight and making excuses.
Enter….. body positivity which to my understanding will help me blast these some of these myths and misconceptions and once and for all I will love my body and appreciate all the does for me. Let the journey begin.
Having been blogging for over a year now you learn a few things a long the way. Here is what I have learned, where I am, and my thoughts.
- If you want to blog about beauty even occasionally you are going to spend a lot of money. Beauty blogging is popular and informative. I really enjoy reading about new products and trying new things. When I see several people rave about the same product I am usually hooked and it goes on my wish list. My highest ratings on are beauty posts. It is however going to cost you money because unless you are willing to put in the time and effort to take your blog to the next level companies are not going to be sending you free product. If you start beauty blogging to receive free product, it is probably not going to happen over night and it takes a lot of work. In the last year or so I have been contacted by a few companies wanting free post and advertising and thanks to fellow bloggers I turn them down because I don’t work for free. If beauty is your passion and you are buying product anyway go for it, but it is easy to get caught up in the deals and bonuses and always, always new products to try. Beauty blogging must be a dream come true for companies. I am sure it increases their sales significantly.
- If you want to increase your traffic photos are everything. People are visual and you hook them with good photos. I purchased a new camera and have yet to really learn how to use it. I don’t have the skills or time to create the amazing photos I see on some blogs. I still hope to get there, someday.
- Blogs and writers come and go, some never to return. Many people blog as a creative outlet ( like me! ). They have big, busy lives outside of the computer and sometimes that life takes over and blogging gets put on the back burner. I wish I could write more because I started this blog to write about all the great things in my life, its purpose was to celebrate all things I love and enjoy and I want to document those things. I really enjoy writing about my adventures with my family and personal growth but of course real life takes over sometimes and what is wrong with that?!
- New blogs are popping up all the time and sometimes you lose contact with those you have started to communicate with as their real life took over and now the blogging world you once knew is completely different and feels like a room full of strangers. That can make you feel like you have to start forming relationships all over to keep your readership alive. Which brings me to the next 2 points.
- If you want a “number” successful blog, it takes time, dedication, consistency and hard work. It doesn’t happen overnight and life can’t take over. I think it is possible as many succeed. I personally don’t have the drive to take my blog to the next level, at this time, I am not driven, it is not a personal goal. I am in awe of those bloggers that have created a business and career of blogging.
- Remember why you started blogging in the first place, go back to your roots. Wouldn’t it be great if everyone wanted to listen and read your posts all the time? Who doesn’t want to be heard? Who doesn’t want what they have to say be heard by others? We want to be listened to. We want to be liked. Humans want validation.We want our words and self to be valued. Personally, I have to remember this blog for me is creative expression and documentation of all things good.
January 2016 was a month of being in a total funk. Once I took down the Christmas decorations I took on the winter blues. I went to work, came home and went to bed and worked some more. Thankfully, that month is over and the sun it sitting a little higher in the sky and my spirits are starting to pick up. January is definitely the most depressing month of the year.
February has already been so much better! We purchased a new travel trailer for camping season. I am definitely in the full glamping category now. It is a mini cottage on wheels. We also have more social events planned with our friends. AND! Spring is not too far now. ( I am not thinking about the fact that I am off work today because we are going to get walloped by a blizzard, nope DENIAL)
OH! and we are going to BAHAMAS in March. ( I hear the winds starting to blow outside.) How can you not be excited by that?
I also won a $150.00 gift card from a RICKI’S RATE and REVIEW contest. Looking forward to new Spring clothing line and a little shopping spree!
So that is the exciting stuff, the not so exciting stuff….
I had to cancel my monthly IPSY bag to make way for the payments on the new trailer. I really loved getting that bag of goodies every month. I may look at TOPBOX in the future as it is in Canadian dollars and a cheaper monthly cost and no US exchange to worry about.
My oldest son (almost 16) and his girlfriend broke up. I honestly, think it was for the best. He needs to be enjoying his high school days and he was a hermit at home. No one likes to see their child hurting but it is part of the experience of eventually finding the perfect one.
Health wise physically and mentally, I am doing good. I had some routine blood work done and have my yearly mammogram coming up and my colonoscopy. Any medical appointment or test is anxiety provoking but I just keep pressing forward and believing in GOD that everything comes back clean,clear and demonstrating perfect health.
Today is hubs birthday and I made a crazy ass cake for the celebration. He likes these complicated multi layer cakes. Here is the pic.
Here is me embracing my laugh lines. It is not easy when you start to see signs of aging on your face but at the same time I am grateful to be aging as many don’t ever get the chance. Embracing aging is challenging for me as some of my identity is in young and pretty. Can you be older and pretty?
Rough, dry hands? Winter have your hands and skin looking a few years older? Want some relief?
Here is a Wintertime favourite!
This lotion is silky, soft, smooth and has amazing scents. It also makes you hands feel silky, soft, smooth and restores them back to youthfulness. I can’t pick a favourite scent lavender or grapefruit so Good!
She sat in the darkened room with silence all around her. Except it wasn’t complete darkness, it never is, thankfully. She knows for some people darkness consumes them and they don’t even have the energy to kick their feet and swim to the surface. They float below the water’s surface holding their breath until their lungs hurt. For some lucky ones they are pulled to the surface and life is breathed back into them, not all at once but one breath at a time. Others open their mouth and let the water seep in, finally taking a breath and filling their lungs with cool, clean water.
But I said she sits in a darkened room not a dark room. This room is filled with a soft glow, that is warm and inviting. It is a familiar glow that fills the room for a short season. When she sits it is hard for her not to feel melancholy, she see chapter two of her life displayed in the glow and among the branches. First Christmas’, family vacations, her wedding. Her children growing Daniel 2003, Daniel 2006, Daniel 2011, last year a simple D for Daniel, this year a StarWars storm trooper.
She wonders how this perfect glow of warmth and peace can be captured forever, how this moment can remain and not be broken. She knows broken, she knows fear, deep parlaying fear and she is overwhelmed with gratitude that she has been pulled from the just below the water’s surface and life breathed back into her one breath at a time.
On arriving to my appointment it was a bustle of people and lovely ladies sitting in chairs surrounded by reflective mirrors and beautiful displays of make up. I was excited to meet my make up artist for Stila. Of course she had amazing winged eyes done with the famous Stila liquid eyeliner. I wanted a holiday glam look and was most interested in trying out their shadows with glitter. I know, they had me at glitter too. Holiday and glitter, sugar and spice, apple and cinnamon, bread and butter. I decided on purple glitter shadow and purple eyeliner. They are great colors for making green eyes pop.
Before my job starting taking up 10-12 hours of my day I was doing lots of research and practice on contouring. I took this as an opportunity to have a professional teach me about contouring. We had about the same amount of knowledge and I think she had more practice but I wasn’t all that pleased with her contouring skills. I ended up purchasing the contouring kit to do more at home practice. That was a least 2 weeks ago and I have not even opened the package.
Overall, I wasn’t blown away by the Stila products and they are pretty expensive not be loving them. I did receive a really nice holiday clutch and a bag of product from Shoppers that I will probably give away.
It is always a good experience when you get to try out a variety of products in a new to you line.
Another great thing about purchasing from Shoppers Drug Mart is you get Optimum points and with the purchases I made this day and the bonus points you received on this particular day I scored $60.oo in free merchandised.