Younger Self

My oldest son turns 16 years old tomorrow. Milestones, like this one get you thinking about how much time has gone by and of course how quickly times goes by. When Nick was born I fell head over heels in love. Literally! Who knew what joy a little version of yourself, offspring could be. I don’t think my mother loved me like that but who knows. I am glad I loved like that.

Looking through some photos of him as a baby I came across this one.

(no make up, no filters, smiling 🙂 , in love)

Nick Baby

I was a bit sad to see a spark in my eye that I didn’t see in a recent selfie I had taken of myself.

15 years plus a few months later……

(Recent Selfie-no make up Monday, no filters, no smile )

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At first, I felt sad about that missing spark I perceived. Ultimately, I know I am really just being hard on myself. Then, I wondered, what would I tell this younger version of myself today and so I wrote..

You knew the moment you found out you were pregnant what a special love you had and the joy that followed was more than you imagined. While you already knew life wasn’t all rainbows and pink cotton candy. You knew the birth of a child, your child was a new beginning, a new start. An opportunity, to love and experience love, a complete unconditional love. In the moments, right after birth, you knew it wasn’t just about you anymore. Your child first and your were second and that was perfectly okay. Most things you worried about before the birth, were not nearly as important. What a relief that was. A fresh breeze. A state of happiness. Your child’s happiness, well being and upbringing was in the forefront. Your mission was to raise a child that knew he was loved and cared for, no matter what. Something, you didn’t feel you had. Your mission was to raise a child that would have no fear showing affection, crawling into bed with you, never would he be afraid or doubt your love. Your child would have know a loving, kind mother. A mother who’s  eyes brightened when you walked in the room and wouldn’t hesitate to scoop you up in open welcoming arms.

You never knew that a couple years later you would be in the fight of your life. That the shock of such news would shake you to your very core. You didn’t know that your children would be the ones that gave you purpose to rise every morning. You had a mission! Your children needed you.

Shaken to the core you were. You had no idea the long term effects socially, emotionally and physically. But you fought, fought, fought and continue to fight! Fall down seven times, get up eight.

While some of your carefree innocence and spark faded with your fight, your love for your children only grew, your life adventures multiplied, you pushed through fear after fear and you learned to be truly grateful, less self-fish and have compassion and kindness for others. The mission you set for motherhood never faulted, didn’t fail. The gratitude you have for each day with your children  makes your heart overflow. Your relationship with God and faith is solid.

Your spark maybe more cautious and more mature with riding the waves of life but I’m proud of you. Maturity, isn’t all the bad. Don’t ever let anyone take away from you your struggles, your victories, for they know not the shoes you wore. Be grateful for those who shared the road. Continue to be grateful and celebrate all occasions in style.  Continue with your Mom mission you are doing a great job!

 

May Purchases

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With the heat of Summer and beach days only weeks away I am all about quick, easy make-up application. Even though I am religious about sunscreen on my face I still tend to get some color and don’t often use foundation at all in the Summer. I tend to want sparkle in the Summer more then ever. So when I was on a little shopping trip I happened to walk by this make up store, you know the one Sephora. In fact, I think I made three trips there this month. It was my birthday month so there was lots of treating to be had and since Chris  handed me 100.00 to spend for my birthday I happily leaped into the store. Here are my treasures.

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1. Urban Decay Naked illuminated-You want glitter this will certainly deliver. Many may find this glitter overboard, me not so much. My face will be diamonds in the sun all Summer long.

2. Nars Super Orgasm Blush-This pinky peached toned blush has you guess it larger gold glitter pieces in it. I now have both the orgasm and the super orgasm. With orgasm you get shimmer with super orgasm you get shimmer and glitter. Here is the thing if you tap your brush before applying the super orgasm you can tap off all the gold glitter before it even gets to your awaiting cheeks. Now we wouldn’t want that now would we?

3. Nars Radiant Creamy Concealer-I had to get this. I couldn’t read one more review about how fabulous this product is without actually having one. So I sunk my 35.00 into this little tube of what I believed would be the solution to all my eye problems forever and ever. I can’t tell you how disappointed I was. So much so that I actually consider taking it back. That is right, back to the store. I even reviewed the Sephora return policy as I have never returned something unless it was damaged. I gave it some time and tried it some more and here is the compromise. As an eye concealer it didn’t work for me because it caused creases and I don’t need to create wrinkles that are not actually there but as a highlighter I really like it. So true to its name, it is radiant and brightening.

5. Make up Forever Duo Mat Powder Foundation-I picked this up for Summer days when all I will apply is sunscreen and this powder before heading out the door. Who am I kidding? I will have lips and mascara too but no foundation per say.I am really liking this so far.

And finally

6. Real Techniques Brush Set-Someday I plan to learn more about contouring and this set will be there to help, until then I am loving the buffing brush with the Duo Mat Powder Foundation.

One more photo for the road as I continue to practice my picture taking skills.

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Hey, What’s Been Going On?

Has it really been 8 days since I have blogged? Yikes! I didn’t know how much I was missing it until now. Eight day is way to long to be away.

Had a great birthday and we celebrated again this weekend. Some gifties Mother’s Day/Birthday

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My long-time birthday buddy

camping buddy

We went camping this weekend and did a wonderful family hike of 15 km. More beautiful pictures to share.

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When am I going to grow up?….Hell, who am I kidding I don’t want to.

IMG_0019_2My birthday is tomorrow (oops I was just informed it is not tomorrow, its the next day ) chronologically if we are counting I am turning 41, oops I mean 42. Yes, I will be 42 and I have no intentions of acting my age any time soon. Honestly, it feels like my oldest who is 15 is catching up in age to me. He graduates middle school and goes to Jr. prom this year. I still have my Jr. prom dress in a closet around here somewhere. I am still with the boy I went to Jr. prom with.

Here are a few mottos: keep up with technology, keep with the latest music ( i am stoked for the Billboard Awards and seeing Britney and Iggy- I am so rooting for Britney!!!), keep up with what the young people are doing

( okay, so that last one is to keep tabs on my own teens).

I have to confess I am losing ground with the celebrity starlets and youth shows, the interest is just not there for me. Yeah, I am more mature then I think. Cat fights, fighting over boys and jealous over-privileged teens on TV are not entertaining to me.

Okay,  I have a few clothing limits too: short skirts, short shorts, midriff tops, crack exposing jeans and a few stores I won’t shop Garage, Hollister, Aeropostale, Victoria’s Secret PINK. I do however, love American Eagle and ROXY brand. Not giving those up.

I will be a a responsible parent and act my age in my profession and in some public places and events. But on my own time I will sing and dance to DEMI, wear leggings and knee socks, pink streak my hair, wear crazy make-up, sing karaoke on my computer, body surf the waves at the beach, buy an AE dress, snapchat ( I don’t but I could if I wanted), have a girlfriend sleepover, wear sparkles, and whatever else I feel like doing. Don’t put me in a box and tell me I have to act and be a certain way because of how old I am chronically.

Birthdays are not about the number ( although I am grateful for each year I have here on earth) they are a celebration of your life from the past year and going forward.

“Happy Birthday dear MOM… Happy Birthday to you.”

“Blow out your candles and make a wish”

I take a breath in, lean over my cake and wish for health and happiness for my family and me.

‘NOW LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED QUICKLY”

Ramblings

birthday-cake-happyHey! its May and my birthday month! Happy Birthday to me. Being as my birthday is in May I have to share it with Mother’s Day. Sometimes this works to my advantage and sometime not. Nevertheless, being alive to celebrate a Birthday and being a Mom are a fabulous combination so no complaining here.

Basement Reno Update

The contractors are almost finished and moving out all their tools. We have more painting to do and my new coach arrives May 13. I really want to post some picture but I am trying to wait until it is somewhat put together. If I was to wait until it was completely decorated there would be no photos until next year.

Speaking of decorating….

Online Interior Design Course

Since I have had an interest in home decorating since a teen I have signed up for an online course. I only have 45 days to complete it. This could be a crazy time line.

New job assignment

If you have been reading and following you know that I have been anticipating a job change and waiting to see if I would get another placement. I have said that I am in education but here is what I have been doing for the last 10 years. I have been working with special needs students at the elementary school level. My new job assignment will be……..drum roll…. in the classroom teaching most likely grade 3.  This should be official in about 10 days when I get the “official” notice of assignment. I am super excited and equally as nervous and scared. I am going to have a whole class of darlings.

Camping Season Begins

Along with Birthday and Mother’s Day camping season officially begins.  We are taking to the open road with trailer in tow mid month. We are really hoping the snow will be all gone by then. I am as shocked writing that last line as you are reading it. We have such a fun time camping. I love the great outdoors.

Spring Weekend

I am happy, like crazy happy that the snow is all gone from the yard and I was able to finally get out and start raking up the gardens and grass. Along with that I got another walk in and thank goodness for that because I had a summer feed of clams and fish bits ( no chips, I didn’t eat any of them, way too much food.)

Well, that’s all the ramblings I have for today. I am working on my “Had to replace it immediately empty” I guess you could say it  is a favourite beauty product.

What are some of your most favourite summer activities?

How to throw a simple but elegant Birthday

In another life I would be a party planner. I love organizing parties. This weekend we are celebrating hubs birthday.  Sunday we are having the family over for what I called Birthday Cake Sunday. This clearly lets everyone know I am not cooking a four course meal but having birthday cake only.  You only need a few simple things to make this Birthday Cake Sunday easy, yet elegant. Here is how….

Of course you need the cake. Since you are only serving cake you can splurge if purchasing or go all out with baking one. Choose a real bakery that is known for its amazing desserts.

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Serve that cake with your most beautiful dishes and silver. I am not kidding haul it out. Somehow it will make that cake even better.bc29459726b64c825a89e6b3dce7f85a 442bfdc1fb64da127cb41fa570453dd4

Also purchase the prettiest napkins you can find. They will act as decoration on the cake table.

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Have a signature drink to serve.

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Add a clean house and a few candles and Happy Celebrating!