Younger Self

My oldest son turns 16 years old tomorrow. Milestones, like this one get you thinking about how much time has gone by and of course how quickly times goes by. When Nick was born I fell head over heels in love. Literally! Who knew what joy a little version of yourself, offspring could be. I don’t think my mother loved me like that but who knows. I am glad I loved like that.

Looking through some photos of him as a baby I came across this one.

(no make up, no filters, smiling 🙂 , in love)

Nick Baby

I was a bit sad to see a spark in my eye that I didn’t see in a recent selfie I had taken of myself.

15 years plus a few months later……

(Recent Selfie-no make up Monday, no filters, no smile )

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At first, I felt sad about that missing spark I perceived. Ultimately, I know I am really just being hard on myself. Then, I wondered, what would I tell this younger version of myself today and so I wrote..

You knew the moment you found out you were pregnant what a special love you had and the joy that followed was more than you imagined. While you already knew life wasn’t all rainbows and pink cotton candy. You knew the birth of a child, your child was a new beginning, a new start. An opportunity, to love and experience love, a complete unconditional love. In the moments, right after birth, you knew it wasn’t just about you anymore. Your child first and your were second and that was perfectly okay. Most things you worried about before the birth, were not nearly as important. What a relief that was. A fresh breeze. A state of happiness. Your child’s happiness, well being and upbringing was in the forefront. Your mission was to raise a child that knew he was loved and cared for, no matter what. Something, you didn’t feel you had. Your mission was to raise a child that would have no fear showing affection, crawling into bed with you, never would he be afraid or doubt your love. Your child would have know a loving, kind mother. A mother who’s  eyes brightened when you walked in the room and wouldn’t hesitate to scoop you up in open welcoming arms.

You never knew that a couple years later you would be in the fight of your life. That the shock of such news would shake you to your very core. You didn’t know that your children would be the ones that gave you purpose to rise every morning. You had a mission! Your children needed you.

Shaken to the core you were. You had no idea the long term effects socially, emotionally and physically. But you fought, fought, fought and continue to fight! Fall down seven times, get up eight.

While some of your carefree innocence and spark faded with your fight, your love for your children only grew, your life adventures multiplied, you pushed through fear after fear and you learned to be truly grateful, less self-fish and have compassion and kindness for others. The mission you set for motherhood never faulted, didn’t fail. The gratitude you have for each day with your children  makes your heart overflow. Your relationship with God and faith is solid.

Your spark maybe more cautious and more mature with riding the waves of life but I’m proud of you. Maturity, isn’t all the bad. Don’t ever let anyone take away from you your struggles, your victories, for they know not the shoes you wore. Be grateful for those who shared the road. Continue to be grateful and celebrate all occasions in style.  Continue with your Mom mission you are doing a great job!

 

What I have learned about blogging.

Having been blogging for over a year now you learn a few things a long the way. Here is what I have learned, where I am, and my thoughts.

  1. If you want to blog about beauty even occasionally you are going to spend a lot of money. Beauty blogging is popular and informative. I really enjoy reading about new products and trying new things. When I see several people rave about the same product I am usually hooked and it goes on my wish list. My highest ratings on are beauty posts.  It is however going to cost you money because unless you are willing to put in the time and effort to take your blog to the next level companies are not going to be sending you free product. If you start beauty blogging to receive free product, it is probably not going to happen over night and it takes a lot of work. In the last year or so I have been contacted by a few companies wanting free post and advertising and thanks to fellow bloggers I turn them down because I don’t work for free. If beauty is your passion and you are buying product anyway go for it, but it is easy to get caught up in the deals and bonuses and always, always new products to try. Beauty blogging must be a dream come true for companies. I am sure it increases their sales significantly.
  2. If you want to increase your traffic photos are everything. People are visual and you hook them with good photos.  I purchased a new camera and have yet to really learn how to use it. I don’t have the skills or time to create the amazing photos I see on some blogs. I still hope to get there, someday.
  3. Blogs and writers come and go, some never to return. Many people blog as a creative outlet ( like me! ). They have big, busy lives outside of the computer and sometimes that life takes over and blogging gets put on the back burner. I wish I could write more because I started this blog to write about all the great things in my life, its purpose was to celebrate all things I love and enjoy and I want to document those things. I really enjoy writing about my adventures with my family and personal growth but of course real life takes over sometimes and what is wrong with that?!
  4. New blogs are popping up all the time and sometimes you lose contact with those you have started to communicate with as their real life took over and now the blogging world you once knew is completely different and feels like a room full of strangers. That can make you feel like you have to start forming relationships all over to keep your readership alive. Which brings me to the next 2 points.
  5. If you want a “number” successful blog, it takes time, dedication, consistency and hard work. It doesn’t happen overnight and life can’t take over. I think it is possible as many succeed.  I personally don’t have the drive to take my blog to the next level, at this time, I am not driven, it is not a personal goal. I am in awe of those bloggers that have created a business and career of blogging.
  6. Remember why you started blogging in the first place, go back to your roots. Wouldn’t it be great if everyone wanted to listen and read your posts all the time? Who doesn’t want to be heard? Who doesn’t want what they have to say be heard by others? We want to be listened to. We want to be liked. Humans want validation.We want our words and self to be valued. Personally, I have to remember this blog for me is creative expression and documentation of all things good.

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Hidden Talents….Man, they are hiding really good.

Do you ever wish you could do somethings just a bit better? I understand that none can be really good at everything but just a little better at somethings would be helpful. Are you following me?

Here are some examples….

I wish I was better at make-up application. Okay, I wish I could do it like the pros. Why can’t I get that dewy, I look 10 years younger look?

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I wish I was better at cooking.  I can cook and it taste good but I really don’t like it. Maybe I should rephrase. I wish I enjoyed cooking. I wonder what it is like to actually enjoy the cooking process. How wonderful would it be to get home from work and be excited about cooking a meal? Actually excited about it, instead of dread and hiding from the kitchen.

I wish I could decorate an amazing cupcake. I don’t need to be able to do the whole cake just one little amazing cupcake.

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Fashion. I have in my head what I want to look like I just have no idea how to do it. I mean I really have no idea. Zero, zip, none.

Painting. I envy people that can paint. Not so much draw but dip the brush and go to town on the canvas. People are incredible who have  this talent.

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Sing. I can sing and if I train my voice on a constant basis I can sound pretty good but someone always sound better, has more talent. God I hate those people.

Sewing. Again people that can sew are amazing. Make a quilt or sew a dress and I am in awe. I have made a few things in my day,  curtains and one skirt. I can hem pants, most times.

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Sure  I have talents, well….maybe not, definitely not around the arts. Honestly, what happened? For goodness sakes people put your children in some art classes.

 

Ramblings

birthday-cake-happyHey! its May and my birthday month! Happy Birthday to me. Being as my birthday is in May I have to share it with Mother’s Day. Sometimes this works to my advantage and sometime not. Nevertheless, being alive to celebrate a Birthday and being a Mom are a fabulous combination so no complaining here.

Basement Reno Update

The contractors are almost finished and moving out all their tools. We have more painting to do and my new coach arrives May 13. I really want to post some picture but I am trying to wait until it is somewhat put together. If I was to wait until it was completely decorated there would be no photos until next year.

Speaking of decorating….

Online Interior Design Course

Since I have had an interest in home decorating since a teen I have signed up for an online course. I only have 45 days to complete it. This could be a crazy time line.

New job assignment

If you have been reading and following you know that I have been anticipating a job change and waiting to see if I would get another placement. I have said that I am in education but here is what I have been doing for the last 10 years. I have been working with special needs students at the elementary school level. My new job assignment will be……..drum roll…. in the classroom teaching most likely grade 3.  This should be official in about 10 days when I get the “official” notice of assignment. I am super excited and equally as nervous and scared. I am going to have a whole class of darlings.

Camping Season Begins

Along with Birthday and Mother’s Day camping season officially begins.  We are taking to the open road with trailer in tow mid month. We are really hoping the snow will be all gone by then. I am as shocked writing that last line as you are reading it. We have such a fun time camping. I love the great outdoors.

Spring Weekend

I am happy, like crazy happy that the snow is all gone from the yard and I was able to finally get out and start raking up the gardens and grass. Along with that I got another walk in and thank goodness for that because I had a summer feed of clams and fish bits ( no chips, I didn’t eat any of them, way too much food.)

Well, that’s all the ramblings I have for today. I am working on my “Had to replace it immediately empty” I guess you could say it  is a favourite beauty product.

What are some of your most favourite summer activities?

100 Questions No One Ever Asks TAG

So for my first ever tag I decided to pick the one that is the longest and has the most questions! This will help you learn all kinds of not so important information about me. I am jumping on board this TAG via Karen at Confetti & Curves, go on over and take a peek at her great blog! Here we go…. answers are short and sweet.

Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?

Mostly closed, I can’t really see my closet from my bed so i don’t think of it when I am getting ready for bed.

Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from the hotel?

If, they are good quality or I am in need of small bottles for traveling.

Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?

OUT!

Have you ever stolen a street sign before?

no, but I have 2 I think my kids took them when the fell down in the winter

Do you like to use post-it notes?

yes, all the time but only at work

Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?

rarely use coupons

Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?

bees, I think I could survive that attack

Do you have freckles?

yup

Do you always smile for pictures?

Mostly

What is your biggest pet peeve?

poor customer service and i just can’t keep quiet about it

Do you ever count your steps when you walk?

My fitbit counts for me

Have you ever peed in the woods?

nods head up and down

What about pooped in the woods?

nods head up and down  ( medical issues!!  desperate times call for desperate measures)

Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing?

maybe a few times

Do you chew your pens and pencils?

yes

How many people have you slept with this week?

just hubs

What size is your bed?

Queenie

What is your song of the week?

Cruise

Is it okay for guys to wear pink?

If they know how to style it

Do you still watch cartoons?

nope

What’s your least favorite movie?

I hate action movies where people are beating the shit out of each other

Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?

probably my closet, I hide everything there

.

What do you drink with dinner?

water

What do you dip a chicken nugget in?

ketchup

What is your favorite food?

pizza

What movies could you watch over and over and still love?

The Holiday, My best friends wedding

Last person you kissed/kissed you?

hubs

Were you ever a boy/girl scout?

yes, girl guide completed my all round cord*

Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?

yup, with the right photographer

When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?

I wrote thank you notes recently at Christmas

Can you change the oil on a car?

Nope

Ever gotten a speeding ticket?

Nope

Ever ran out of gas?

yes, thankfully in the driveway

Favorite kind of sandwich?

lobster and mayo

Best thing to eat for breakfast?

cereal

What is your usual bedtime?

11-12

Are you lazy?

I can be at times. I think it stems from boredom more then anything

When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?

my mom made most of my costumes, I was once miss piggy

What is your Chinese astrological sign?

Taurus-stubborn ass

Do you have any magazine subscriptions?

nope, I read blogs LOL

Which are better, legos or lincoln logs?

legos

Are you stubborn?

I am told I can be rigid

Who is better, Leno or Letterman?

Have not watch either show

Ever watch soap operas?

Yes, Bold and Beautiful but with Hope and Stephie gone I think I will be soon as well

Are you afraid of heights?

yes

Do you sing in the car?

yes, I shout it out

Do you sing in the shower?

not as much anymore

Do you dance in the car?

sometimes

Ever used a gun?

no

Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

it has been a while

Do you think musicals are cheesy?

no, love many

Is Christmas stressful?

yes, I don’t like Christmas that much

Ever eat a pierogi?

Yes, not a big fan

Favorite type of fruit pie?

Cherry

Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

social worker, child psychologist, writer, fashion designer

Do you believe in ghosts?

I dont think

Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

yes, freaky

Take a vitamin daily?

Yes, I take several  B12, vitamin D, probiotic

Wear slippers?

nope, love those fuzzy socks

Wear a bath robe?

not often, I find them too hot

What do you wear to bed?

PJ’s

First concert?

Richard MarX ( that might date me)

Wal-Mart, Target, or Kmart?

Target but its gone from Canada so none

Nike or Adidas?

OHH that is hard to choose

Cheetos or Fritos?

Fritos

Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Sunflower seeds

Ever heard of the group Tres Bien?

Nope.

Ever take dance lessons?

yes, hip hop I was so bad they put me in the back row

Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

I wish my husband was a doctor so I could just have him answer all my questions and give me weekly checkups

Can you curl your tongue?

Yes

Ever won a spelling bee?

NOOOO

Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

Yes

Own any record albums?

yes, I have many 45’s from the late 60’s to early 80’s

Own a record player?

yes, it was my last purchase at Target before their Canadian exit.

Regularly burn incense?

no,

Ever been in love?

yes

Who would you like to see in concert?

Demi Lavato, Maroon 5

What was the last concert you saw?

Britney Spears

Hot tea or cold tea?

cold

Tea or coffee?

tea

Sugar or Snickerdoodles?

sugar?

Can you swim well?

Yes

Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

yes

Are you patient?

 at work very much, at home not so much

DJ or band, at a wedding?

hard choice a very good band

Ever won a contest?

nothing major

Ever have a plastic surgery?

sort of had my jaw broke at 15

Which are better, black or green olives?

hate, hate olives

Can you knit or crochet?

a little bit of both

Best room for a fireplace?

livingroom

Do you want to get married?

Almost 20 yrs married

.

If married, how long have you been married?

almost 20

Who was your HS crush?

married him

Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?

no, I have learned there are bad things in this world that can happen to good people and every day above ground is one to be grateful and happy for.

Do you have kids?

2 boys  11 and 15

Do you want kids?

we almost adopted another

What’s your favorite color?

purple

Do you miss anyone right now?

no, not really ( is that sad?)

You made it to the end. Now you know a little bit more about me. Should you take the challenge link your post in the comments below.