It is that time of year again!

It is that time of year again when I am planning a beach camping vacation and I need to purchase a swim suit. Last year it was a well thought out plan but one I wasn’t looking forward to. I am completely the person that will compare my body with those immediately around me and if they are slimmer then me I automatically cut myself down to the size of a grain of sand. My self worth becomes non-existence because I dump on myself for not being thin as well. (so keeping my fingers crossed for the exploration with body positivity)

I wasn’t planning to buying a swim suit yesterday but I made my way over to the rack anyways and said “why the hell not, maybe I will get lucky”.

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And I DID! Maybe it was because my goal going into the dressing room was I will be happy if they just fit, they don’t have to look good, they just have to fit. With goal one in check, I started to check out all the other angles and of course looked to play up the assets and down play the mid-section. Check points on both and I went home with 2 new bathing suits that are very comfortable. I even purchased a panty style bottom which I rarely purchase or wear, I am a skirt bottom kind of girl.

I have to confess the bathing suit I purchased last year looks good but it is like getting into a SPANX. After I wrestle with the top and figure out which way is the front and get the straps situated, I want to fall exhausted on the bed.  I didn’t wear this suit once when I was in the Bahamas this Spring. There is no last minute, “let’s go for a swim” and just toss on your swim suit. It takes time and patience and you need air conditioning blasting on you because look out if you are hot and sweating this suit is not going on easy.

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Off to the beach I go……

 

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I Don’t Make New Year Resolutions Volume 2

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I don’t make specific New Year resolutions because I know you can’t keep them just as I know diets don’t work. With every loss cell of collagen as you get older you actually do get wiser. Cost, benefit relationship.

As the kids get older the parenting gets less  intense, less hands on. They get more expensive, I wasn’t quite expecting that. They don’t need me like they use to. That brings about some sadness but at the same time I enjoy their independence. They need to be independent, honestly, before you know it they will be flying the coop. They need to know how to survive. I need to call off the helicopter and active the GSP. I will be broken hearted. Which is why I also must prepare and begin working on my life after kids. Saying that, I so wish I could freeze time. We are all at the perfect age. They need me but not too much, they are great to travel with, they can be left alone for periods of time, they are still young ducklings, not too grown up yet but able to make themselves a sandwich and not starve.

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So, why and I talking about my boys in this “I don’t make new year’s resolution post? ”

Because I want to freeze time. I have had an amazing year. I feel that despite the challenges I have, I have pushed through, maybe this year the pushes were less or the door wasn’t always as heavy. I just know that I am happy most of the time and I  am not afraid all of the time.

Aside from jetting off to live in some tropical destination to pursue my dreams of acting and singing. Splitting my time between living off the grid and in the penthouse in Las Vegas. Being happy most of the time and not afraid all the time is good enough. I will take it! Good enough is great. I did the hard work and the past year feels like a reward.

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Since I am not Elsa, from Frozen and I can not freeze time, only my fingers on the steering wheel. I know this year is coming to an end on the calendar. My boys will keep growing which makes me sad but I am excited about the adventures we will all have as a family.

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So once again for 2016 I declare…….

I declare I will be free from anxiety and fear.

I declare I will be an active mother to my children.

I declare I will raise Godly sons filled with love, kindness, gifts and talents.

I declare I will have a loving, vulnerable, fun marriage with my husband.

I declare I will have a happy, comfortable home that brings joy and peace to my family and friends.

I declare I will make a difference in the lives of children, leading them to their gifts and talents. Showing them that they can move above and beyond their circumstances.

I declare I will travel to new places and experience the world and activities that God has created for us to enjoy here on earth.

I declare longevity for my life.

I declare perfect divine health, free from all sickness, illness, infirmities, cancers for me and my family.

I declare I will have a true kindred spirit best friend.

I declare I will use my voice in song to bring others in the presence of God.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

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New Year Clean Up

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With the new year just around the corner and the task of putting away and finding a home for all the new Christmas gifts I take this time to do a house clean up. I start with the boys rooms as they are usually the messiest and they have the most items that need to find new homes. I tend not to let clutter get ahead of me so I am generally purging at least 3-4 times per year.

Here is my list for a quick clean of the boys rooms.

  1. Strip beds and wash everything including duvets, mattress covers and pillows.
  2. Do a quick purge of their closets and drawers-if it looks to small, to dirty or well worn I bag it for charity.
  3. Open the windows no matter how cold it is,  fresh rooms need a fresh, crisp breeze. I close the doors to keep the cold from the rest of the house.
  4. I do a quick check of their toys and knickknacks. If they have out grown them or are broken I toss or donate. I dust all their shelves and display everything in a neat and orderly fashion. This also includes their books.
  5. I vacuum everything including heating vents and under beds.
  6.  I wipe everything down dressers, fans, desks, marks on walls. This year I think I have a few paint touch ups to do.
  7. Finally, I put the beds back together, sweep and mop and done. I am feeling great because I know that is done until Spring.

 

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Boxing Day Tradition

Every boxing day since the kids were small I have been making potato pancakes ( potato latkes) for a breakfast bunch. It has been a job in and of itself with hand grating the potatoes/onions and using the deep fryer. The last few years I have been using a food processor for the grating of potatoes and onions and this year I discovered a way to not have to drag out the deep fryer. Beside not having to use a deep fryer all the food was ready at once and we were able to all sit down together and eat at the same time. Winning! Who is not in favour of making things easier? {crickets}

Thank you to Once Upon a Chef! I was planning to take some pictures of my beautiful potato latkes but they didn’t last long enough for me to take a shot.

Here is the link for you!

Oven Fried Potato Latkes

Oh Christmas Tree

 

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She sat in the darkened room with silence all around her. Except it wasn’t complete darkness, it never is, thankfully. She knows for some people darkness consumes them and they don’t even have the energy to kick their feet and swim to the surface. They float below the water’s surface holding their breath until their lungs hurt. For some lucky ones they are pulled to the surface and life is breathed back into them, not all at once but one breath at a time. Others open their mouth and let the water seep in, finally taking a breath and filling their lungs with cool, clean water.

But I said she sits in a darkened room not a dark room. This room is filled with a soft glow, that is warm and inviting. It is a familiar glow that fills the room for a short season. When she sits it is hard for her not to feel melancholy, she see chapter two of her life displayed in the glow and among the branches. First Christmas’, family vacations, her wedding. Her children growing Daniel 2003, Daniel 2006, Daniel 2011, last year a simple D for Daniel, this year a StarWars storm trooper.

She wonders how this perfect glow of warmth and peace can be captured forever, how this moment can remain and not be broken. She knows broken, she knows fear, deep parlaying fear and she is overwhelmed with gratitude that she has been pulled from the just below the water’s surface and life breathed back into her one breath at a time.

 

Updates

I am loving teaching grade 3 but boy have I been busy. I am putting in about 9-11 hour days and weekends too. Since this is my first time back in a classroom in a long while it is taking lots of planning, prep and learning the curriculum. Not to mention that I am completely spent at the end of the day.

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I am looking forward to things starting to slow at school  and embracing the holiday season. I feel like the Fall has flown by so quickly I can’t even recall what I have been doing for fun.  That is sad.

In September, we were able to get in two more camping weekends. That was great as it felt like we extended the Summer holiday by a few weeks.

My husband and I celebrated our 20th anniversary with a big party at the house. The best part was we hired a DJ and had a fun evening of dancing on the deck. I threw the party together in only a few weeks. So I really didn’t have time to do lots of fun decorating. We had to order a lot of food and the DJ was costly so we kept everything else pretty simple. The weather didn’t cooperate for me that well either, as the party was planned as an out door event and it showered on and off all day. The rain did stop and we did spend the good part outside where the DJ was but it was damp and not a warm summer evening. That was a little disappointing. I tend to obsess about the weather in the Summer. I don’t think I have hardly looked at a forecast since.

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We also attended a few house parties of good friends and had a nice dinner out at one of my favourite places to eat. It has great food and atmosphere.

We stayed home for Thanksgiving and had a nice home cooked turkey dinner with family. We have gone camping the last few years so it was nice  to stay home and have a warm everything.

Halloween was pretty uneventful. My oldest spent the night at his girlfriends house and my youngest went out for short time and then had a friend over night. We scooted off to a house party for a few hours.

I recently had a weekend away shopping with my Mom and sister. It was a good weekend away and I loved staying in a hotel room all by myself. I usually hate hotels but this was a very nice one and it was so comfortable. I did get a good amount of Christmas Shopping done.

And now we are in the holiday season and all the wonderful events and activities that happen at this time of year. As like many of us I am finding it hard to get it all done.

I have started a medication trial for my bathroom “issues”. I am really hoping this is going to work for me. It doesn’t work for everyone and of course there could be side effects but I am hopeful.

I hope to write more over the holiday. Even if I could commit to once a week I wouldn’t feel  like I was neglecting my blog so miserably. Maybe I will add that to the New Year Resolution list.