Younger Self

My oldest son turns 16 years old tomorrow. Milestones, like this one get you thinking about how much time has gone by and of course how quickly times goes by. When Nick was born I fell head over heels in love. Literally! Who knew what joy a little version of yourself, offspring could be. I don’t think my mother loved me like that but who knows. I am glad I loved like that.

Looking through some photos of him as a baby I came across this one.

(no make up, no filters, smiling 🙂 , in love)

Nick Baby

I was a bit sad to see a spark in my eye that I didn’t see in a recent selfie I had taken of myself.

15 years plus a few months later……

(Recent Selfie-no make up Monday, no filters, no smile )

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At first, I felt sad about that missing spark I perceived. Ultimately, I know I am really just being hard on myself. Then, I wondered, what would I tell this younger version of myself today and so I wrote..

You knew the moment you found out you were pregnant what a special love you had and the joy that followed was more than you imagined. While you already knew life wasn’t all rainbows and pink cotton candy. You knew the birth of a child, your child was a new beginning, a new start. An opportunity, to love and experience love, a complete unconditional love. In the moments, right after birth, you knew it wasn’t just about you anymore. Your child first and your were second and that was perfectly okay. Most things you worried about before the birth, were not nearly as important. What a relief that was. A fresh breeze. A state of happiness. Your child’s happiness, well being and upbringing was in the forefront. Your mission was to raise a child that knew he was loved and cared for, no matter what. Something, you didn’t feel you had. Your mission was to raise a child that would have no fear showing affection, crawling into bed with you, never would he be afraid or doubt your love. Your child would have know a loving, kind mother. A mother who’s  eyes brightened when you walked in the room and wouldn’t hesitate to scoop you up in open welcoming arms.

You never knew that a couple years later you would be in the fight of your life. That the shock of such news would shake you to your very core. You didn’t know that your children would be the ones that gave you purpose to rise every morning. You had a mission! Your children needed you.

Shaken to the core you were. You had no idea the long term effects socially, emotionally and physically. But you fought, fought, fought and continue to fight! Fall down seven times, get up eight.

While some of your carefree innocence and spark faded with your fight, your love for your children only grew, your life adventures multiplied, you pushed through fear after fear and you learned to be truly grateful, less self-fish and have compassion and kindness for others. The mission you set for motherhood never faulted, didn’t fail. The gratitude you have for each day with your children  makes your heart overflow. Your relationship with God and faith is solid.

Your spark maybe more cautious and more mature with riding the waves of life but I’m proud of you. Maturity, isn’t all the bad. Don’t ever let anyone take away from you your struggles, your victories, for they know not the shoes you wore. Be grateful for those who shared the road. Continue to be grateful and celebrate all occasions in style.  Continue with your Mom mission you are doing a great job!

 

I Don’t Make New Year Resolutions Volume 2

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I don’t make specific New Year resolutions because I know you can’t keep them just as I know diets don’t work. With every loss cell of collagen as you get older you actually do get wiser. Cost, benefit relationship.

As the kids get older the parenting gets less  intense, less hands on. They get more expensive, I wasn’t quite expecting that. They don’t need me like they use to. That brings about some sadness but at the same time I enjoy their independence. They need to be independent, honestly, before you know it they will be flying the coop. They need to know how to survive. I need to call off the helicopter and active the GSP. I will be broken hearted. Which is why I also must prepare and begin working on my life after kids. Saying that, I so wish I could freeze time. We are all at the perfect age. They need me but not too much, they are great to travel with, they can be left alone for periods of time, they are still young ducklings, not too grown up yet but able to make themselves a sandwich and not starve.

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So, why and I talking about my boys in this “I don’t make new year’s resolution post? ”

Because I want to freeze time. I have had an amazing year. I feel that despite the challenges I have, I have pushed through, maybe this year the pushes were less or the door wasn’t always as heavy. I just know that I am happy most of the time and I  am not afraid all of the time.

Aside from jetting off to live in some tropical destination to pursue my dreams of acting and singing. Splitting my time between living off the grid and in the penthouse in Las Vegas. Being happy most of the time and not afraid all the time is good enough. I will take it! Good enough is great. I did the hard work and the past year feels like a reward.

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Since I am not Elsa, from Frozen and I can not freeze time, only my fingers on the steering wheel. I know this year is coming to an end on the calendar. My boys will keep growing which makes me sad but I am excited about the adventures we will all have as a family.

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So once again for 2016 I declare…….

I declare I will be free from anxiety and fear.

I declare I will be an active mother to my children.

I declare I will raise Godly sons filled with love, kindness, gifts and talents.

I declare I will have a loving, vulnerable, fun marriage with my husband.

I declare I will have a happy, comfortable home that brings joy and peace to my family and friends.

I declare I will make a difference in the lives of children, leading them to their gifts and talents. Showing them that they can move above and beyond their circumstances.

I declare I will travel to new places and experience the world and activities that God has created for us to enjoy here on earth.

I declare longevity for my life.

I declare perfect divine health, free from all sickness, illness, infirmities, cancers for me and my family.

I declare I will have a true kindred spirit best friend.

I declare I will use my voice in song to bring others in the presence of God.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

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Lessons Learned About Marriage

IMG_6417This month my husband and I celebrated our 20th Wedding Anniversary. Here is what I have learned over the last 20 years.

*Dont ever call each other names that are hurtful or say something to the other person with the intention to hurt them.

*Be respectful of each other at all times. Just because he/she is there doesn’t mean you take it out on them.

*Don’t go to bed angry. You need to talk it out. Even if it means staying up all night.

*Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want and teach him/her how to treat you the right way.

*Call each other out. It doesn’t need to turn into a big fight. Some times it is just a WFT look?

*Get to know each other really well. But i do draw the line at one brushing teeth and one on the toilet at the same time. NOPE can’t go there.

*Be at complete ease with each other.

*Share  similar values on family, parenting, finances and dreams for the future.

*Have a core group of friends.

*Laugh together and at yourself and at him too. Humour can defuse a situation and help you see how insignificant an argument maybe. Cracking up together is great intimacy.

*Never lie to each other, even by omission.

*Celebrate birthday’s, holidays and anniversaries.

*Take care of yourself for you, when you feel good about yourself you can be more confident in your relationship.

*Know you could walk out tomorrow and be completely financially independent. ( But yet you choose to stay)

*You will day dream about walking out and hopping on an airplane to take you far away. You will plan the journey. ( But yet you stay)

*There will be ups and downs and more ups and downs and ups and downs. Ride them even when you don’t think you can for one more minute.

*He takes care of his family issues, you take care of yours.

*Live by this “What God has joined let no man separate”

*Love each other none is perfect including you.

Deal Breakers 

Abuse of any kind (physical, verbal, emotional)

An affair ( I just don’t think I could get over it and therefore it wouldn’t be fair to him)

As seen on Pinterest

Our friends announced they are getting married the week we will be away camping at a beautiful beach. They are having a beach wedding followed by a big party in the campground. I have to say it is a first for me but I am looking forward to it. We are all helping with the planning and preparations and I took on the place settings. Now, your not going to take silver and crystal to an outdoor camping event but how about plastic and paper.

As seen on PINTEREST

Now here is what I did…

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Jr Prom

This has been an incredible week and I couldn’t be more proud and excited for my oldest son as he graduated from Jr. High and had his Jr. prom this week. I am all about celebrating life events but I had no idea how much pleasure I was going to have  sharing this experience with him. Now on to the photos!!!

He is handsome, she is gorgeous!

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My jr prom photo with my date who became my husband.

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He comes by his humour honestly.DSC_0124 IMG_6006

Had to Replace it Immediately Empty

BIODERMA Sensibio H20
Bioderma-2I am sure that those of you that have tried this product are in agreement with me that this is a beauty staple and you should never be with out it. I love this product because it  removes makeup including mascara very gently. It is almost like removing your makeup with water, it is so fresh and pure. It does not cause your skin to break out nor do you need to rinse it off. It leaves your skin feeling clean and fresh. Simple put a few drops on a cotton pad and cleanse your whole face. A little of this product goes a long way. it is fragrance free, alcohol free, paraben free and hypoallergenic! What empty do you need to replace immediately?