Oh Christmas Tree

 

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She sat in the darkened room with silence all around her. Except it wasn’t complete darkness, it never is, thankfully. She knows for some people darkness consumes them and they don’t even have the energy to kick their feet and swim to the surface. They float below the water’s surface holding their breath until their lungs hurt. For some lucky ones they are pulled to the surface and life is breathed back into them, not all at once but one breath at a time. Others open their mouth and let the water seep in, finally taking a breath and filling their lungs with cool, clean water.

But I said she sits in a darkened room not a dark room. This room is filled with a soft glow, that is warm and inviting. It is a familiar glow that fills the room for a short season. When she sits it is hard for her not to feel melancholy, she see chapter two of her life displayed in the glow and among the branches. First Christmas’, family vacations, her wedding. Her children growing Daniel 2003, Daniel 2006, Daniel 2011, last year a simple D for Daniel, this year a StarWars storm trooper.

She wonders how this perfect glow of warmth and peace can be captured forever, how this moment can remain and not be broken. She knows broken, she knows fear, deep parlaying fear and she is overwhelmed with gratitude that she has been pulled from the just below the water’s surface and life breathed back into her one breath at a time.

 

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Starfish

79f023f1Raging, crashing sea

 incoming tide

sailing, floating being pushed along

summersaults, cartwheels

crashing at the shore

fear

unable to move

beached

catches

drifting again in the sea

belonging

drifting

calmly in and out

breathing in

breathing out

then terror

stranded

helpless

time passes

voices

flight

belonging

sailing

free

Trust

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Trust

an invisible bond, a contract, sealed in blood with a prick of a finger

broken, but never should be

broken becomes the broken

unrepairable?

maybe

recovery, regain, but how?

distrust, guarded, protective

heart of ice

heart of fire

Betrayal

an invisible bond, a contract sealed with eternal heartbreak