It is that time of year again!

It is that time of year again when I am planning a beach camping vacation and I need to purchase a swim suit. Last year it was a well thought out plan but one I wasn’t looking forward to. I am completely the person that will compare my body with those immediately around me and if they are slimmer then me I automatically cut myself down to the size of a grain of sand. My self worth becomes non-existence because I dump on myself for not being thin as well. (so keeping my fingers crossed for the exploration with body positivity)

I wasn’t planning to buying a swim suit yesterday but I made my way over to the rack anyways and said “why the hell not, maybe I will get lucky”.

Get Lucky

 

And I DID! Maybe it was because my goal going into the dressing room was I will be happy if they just fit, they don’t have to look good, they just have to fit. With goal one in check, I started to check out all the other angles and of course looked to play up the assets and down play the mid-section. Check points on both and I went home with 2 new bathing suits that are very comfortable. I even purchased a panty style bottom which I rarely purchase or wear, I am a skirt bottom kind of girl.

I have to confess the bathing suit I purchased last year looks good but it is like getting into a SPANX. After I wrestle with the top and figure out which way is the front and get the straps situated, I want to fall exhausted on the bed.  I didn’t wear this suit once when I was in the Bahamas this Spring. There is no last minute, “let’s go for a swim” and just toss on your swim suit. It takes time and patience and you need air conditioning blasting on you because look out if you are hot and sweating this suit is not going on easy.

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Off to the beach I go……

 

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Body Positivity Movement

I am joining the body positivity movement. I am optimistic that I can embrace the positivity. I am not getting any younger or thinner and starving myself is out of the question. I know very little about body positivity. I have been hating my body for pretty much all my life but mostly since I was about 25, so that is almost 20 years of hating my body and putting all myself worth into how flat my stomach is or is not, which it is not flat by any means. I have an arm load of reasons I am not getting skinny and why my muffin top is not shrinking. I loath my muffin top and now I am adding my upper arms to what I hate about my body. Okay, back fat too, I hate that as well, but see it less often since  it is behind me. See where this is going?

Here is my arm load of reasons (some may call excuses) why I am not getting skinny

  1. hyperthyroid
  2. menopause at 3o
  3. whacked out hormones
  4. IBS diet
  5. diets don’t work, I have done lots ( WW, clean eating, no carbs, reduced carbs, paleo, LA weight loss and the list continues, I have lost and gained the same 15 lbs I don’t know what many times)
  6. I have overcome too much shit in my life to never have ice-cream and birthday cake again
  7. I have many habits of “skinny” eaters and I still have a muffin top

 

I am sure there are a few more, if I want to spend the brain power thinking about them and no …..one of the reasons is not because I am lazy, unhealthy, unmotivated and overweight and making excuses.

Enter….. body positivity which to my understanding will help me blast these some of these myths and misconceptions  and once and for all I will love my body and appreciate all the does for me. Let the journey begin.

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Goddess on the Beach….follow up

I did it, I went shopping for the bathing suit. It wasn’t an experience from hell Thank you GOD but here is why; I didn’t try to be something I am not. I knew if I tried on suits that looked great on the hangers and models that they would look awful on me and I would take a hit to my self esteem and body shame myself at great length. So, I decided to go to a plus clothing store because I knew they would have suits that would suit all the parts of my body I don’t like showing off and I got really lucky! I was able to find a suit that plays up my best features breast, buttocks and legs and hides my less desirable feature the belly. I dream of a flat tummy, I always have even as a teen, I just don’t have one nor will I ever.  I tried on the smallest size (yes, I had to  say that)  and I actually came out of the dressing room. Man, I would have pranced through the store if I could have. Look if the guys and gals are not checking out my rack in this suit and their eyes avert to my midsection well how do you say it?  It’s not you, it’s me. I would say it is not me, it’s you! LOL. I know now you are dying to see me in this suit! Well, I hope to get a shot when I am at the beach in our upcoming camping trip for now you will have to look at the model  picture I found.

This top with the skirt bottom and I also have the high waisted bottoms ( purchased previously) as well. The top and skirt bottom was 132.00 CAD

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Goddess on the Beach

I have to buy a new bathing suit, maybe even two. Yes, I know there are more dreaded things I have to do in my life like a colonoscopy every few years but who really likes to shop for a bathing suit? I don’t even really know where to begin and this late in the season I don’t expect the selection to be great. The choices are endless but those that will grace this body are limited   There is how I WANT to feel in a bathing suit and and how I actually feel.

My day dream: I am goddess of the beach looking amazing in my suit with a light breeze blowing my hair and the bottom of my shear coverup. I slow mow run into the waves and walk like a fashion model down the runway beach.

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The reality: I have to consider my body shape and play up my assets within a reasonable budget and buy a really cute cover up just in case the breeze is blowing.

What are your tips for bathing suit shopping?

You are what you eat? Not really

You think it would be easy to figure out your body shape.

Pick a fruit or vegetable

That’s right stand in front of the mirror and decided if your body is more of an apple, a pear, a banana or a potato. Simple.

apple banana pear potato

Having difficulties?

Okay, try picking a shape instead. Do the same thing stand in front of the mirror, get naked if you wish and decide circle, hourglass, rectangle or triangle.

Circle hourglass rectangle triangle

I didn’t find it that easy either. I was always flopping between apple and hourglass, secretly hoping for hourglass but knowing that just couldn’t be with my thick waist.  So I finally got the measuring tape out and did my body measurements. Measured bust, smallest part of waist, hips and the distance from hips to waist. Drum roll…… it appears I am a banana or rectangle. Interesting. I am a 5’2 banana/rectangle.

Here is how I know this.

If my bust and hips are close in size and my waist is smaller ( waist is 1 to 8 inches smaller then bust) but not a lot smaller then my hips. I am rectangle, a banana, a ruler. My celebrity body is Cameron Diaz. BAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Let’s clarify, You can be a slim short ruler or a plus size tall ruler. You can have a small bust or large bust.

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I have to say I am glad I am not an apple, that means my waist would be the same size or larger then hips/bust. However, I have a thick middle. I have only ever once in my life had a small waist and that is when I was controlling my food and counting ever gram of fat that went into my body I was about 22 years old. Even then I still didn’t like my tummy. I have never liked my tummy. EVER!

Okay, now that we have all that established. Why it this suddenly so important to me?

I am trying to love this body and my thick waist too. I really don’t think it is going anywhere. Actually, I am pretty sure its not. No, its not.  So while I continue to try my best to increase my exercise I also need to learn how to dress banana body so I can look and feel my best.

Stay tuned for dressing this banana body.