Younger Self

My oldest son turns 16 years old tomorrow. Milestones, like this one get you thinking about how much time has gone by and of course how quickly times goes by. When Nick was born I fell head over heels in love. Literally! Who knew what joy a little version of yourself, offspring could be. I don’t think my mother loved me like that but who knows. I am glad I loved like that.

Looking through some photos of him as a baby I came across this one.

(no make up, no filters, smiling 🙂 , in love)

Nick Baby

I was a bit sad to see a spark in my eye that I didn’t see in a recent selfie I had taken of myself.

15 years plus a few months later……

(Recent Selfie-no make up Monday, no filters, no smile )

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At first, I felt sad about that missing spark I perceived. Ultimately, I know I am really just being hard on myself. Then, I wondered, what would I tell this younger version of myself today and so I wrote..

You knew the moment you found out you were pregnant what a special love you had and the joy that followed was more than you imagined. While you already knew life wasn’t all rainbows and pink cotton candy. You knew the birth of a child, your child was a new beginning, a new start. An opportunity, to love and experience love, a complete unconditional love. In the moments, right after birth, you knew it wasn’t just about you anymore. Your child first and your were second and that was perfectly okay. Most things you worried about before the birth, were not nearly as important. What a relief that was. A fresh breeze. A state of happiness. Your child’s happiness, well being and upbringing was in the forefront. Your mission was to raise a child that knew he was loved and cared for, no matter what. Something, you didn’t feel you had. Your mission was to raise a child that would have no fear showing affection, crawling into bed with you, never would he be afraid or doubt your love. Your child would have know a loving, kind mother. A mother who’s  eyes brightened when you walked in the room and wouldn’t hesitate to scoop you up in open welcoming arms.

You never knew that a couple years later you would be in the fight of your life. That the shock of such news would shake you to your very core. You didn’t know that your children would be the ones that gave you purpose to rise every morning. You had a mission! Your children needed you.

Shaken to the core you were. You had no idea the long term effects socially, emotionally and physically. But you fought, fought, fought and continue to fight! Fall down seven times, get up eight.

While some of your carefree innocence and spark faded with your fight, your love for your children only grew, your life adventures multiplied, you pushed through fear after fear and you learned to be truly grateful, less self-fish and have compassion and kindness for others. The mission you set for motherhood never faulted, didn’t fail. The gratitude you have for each day with your children  makes your heart overflow. Your relationship with God and faith is solid.

Your spark maybe more cautious and more mature with riding the waves of life but I’m proud of you. Maturity, isn’t all the bad. Don’t ever let anyone take away from you your struggles, your victories, for they know not the shoes you wore. Be grateful for those who shared the road. Continue to be grateful and celebrate all occasions in style.  Continue with your Mom mission you are doing a great job!

 

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Lessons Learned About Marriage

IMG_6417This month my husband and I celebrated our 20th Wedding Anniversary. Here is what I have learned over the last 20 years.

*Dont ever call each other names that are hurtful or say something to the other person with the intention to hurt them.

*Be respectful of each other at all times. Just because he/she is there doesn’t mean you take it out on them.

*Don’t go to bed angry. You need to talk it out. Even if it means staying up all night.

*Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want and teach him/her how to treat you the right way.

*Call each other out. It doesn’t need to turn into a big fight. Some times it is just a WFT look?

*Get to know each other really well. But i do draw the line at one brushing teeth and one on the toilet at the same time. NOPE can’t go there.

*Be at complete ease with each other.

*Share  similar values on family, parenting, finances and dreams for the future.

*Have a core group of friends.

*Laugh together and at yourself and at him too. Humour can defuse a situation and help you see how insignificant an argument maybe. Cracking up together is great intimacy.

*Never lie to each other, even by omission.

*Celebrate birthday’s, holidays and anniversaries.

*Take care of yourself for you, when you feel good about yourself you can be more confident in your relationship.

*Know you could walk out tomorrow and be completely financially independent. ( But yet you choose to stay)

*You will day dream about walking out and hopping on an airplane to take you far away. You will plan the journey. ( But yet you stay)

*There will be ups and downs and more ups and downs and ups and downs. Ride them even when you don’t think you can for one more minute.

*He takes care of his family issues, you take care of yours.

*Live by this “What God has joined let no man separate”

*Love each other none is perfect including you.

Deal Breakers 

Abuse of any kind (physical, verbal, emotional)

An affair ( I just don’t think I could get over it and therefore it wouldn’t be fair to him)

First Kiss

girl-flowersSomeone is this household has had his first kiss

with a girl,

 at a dance,

for about 7 seconds,

ON THE LIPS!

And how do I know this you ask? I  grilled him!

Of course in a most loving way. Okay, so he didn’t tell me.  But I do have loving one on one conversations with him ( okay, I grill him)

He told his Dad,

while in the car,

on a long drive to play hockey.

I just learned about it last night (Sunday) and it happened on Thursday.

I kind of suspected something when I asked him how the dance was and he replied “Fantastic!”

Fantastic, this is the first fantastic dance.

Dances have been good

and fun

but never FANTASTIC!.

When I picked him up I caught him leaping,

Yes,  literally leaping around his friends.

It is all coming together now.

BUT who does “she” think she is kissing my son! Yes, that was the first thought that came to my mind.

Her lips on his.

His lips on hers.

Those sweet little lips I kiss thousands of times. Those sweet little kisses have been mine. ( okay, he started refusing my kisses a few years back but still.) My boy, now growing into a young man that will be loved by another woman besides me someday.

Let Love Grow

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What better way to begin the Valentine’s Day celebrations and add a little Spring to you home then to plant a rose garden. I picked these little planters up at Target Canada for $3.00 each ( sniff, sniff). It comes with everything you need planter, soil and seeds. Wait until you see what happens with the soil! I work with children so these things excite me.

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Here comes the magic. Put those little discs into the pot and add some warm water.

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Did you see that? The discs expand into soil. You simply give it a fluff with a fork.

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In go the seeds.

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Cover with soil and you are done! Okay, that was so easy.

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Here I will put the disclaimer that I will be pleasantly surprised if something actually grows. Who knows maybe I will have roses before Valentine’s Day.