16! and ready to drive..Yikes!

For some reason I thought when my kids turned 16 they would just instantly know how to drive a car. I mean I taught them to feed, clothe and wipe their asses I figured I get a break on teaching them how to drive. But no, they don’t know how to drive automatically and you have to teach them.

I don’t remember learning how to drive, I got in the car and drove. I am sure someone taught me something but driving becomes so automatic you just get in the vehicle and drive. For the record, I did take driving lessons, that I had to pay for because my parents wouldn’t and if I didn’t take the lessons my mother wasn’t going to let me drive. AND I WAS GOING TO DRIVE. Driving was the first taste of FREEDOM, FREEDOM.

But I digress. Sitting in the vehicle with your 16 year old and knowing he has the potential to kill you…death by car accident going less than 40km is darn right FRIGING scary.  All these years you though you would be the one to kill them in their teens year, with ya know, the many challenges of raising a teen and then I (we) give them a car to DRIVE! with US in it and WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO DO THIS MORE THEN ONCE.

One of our first lessons is me teaching him reaction time. In order for me to feel an ounce of safety I need to know he can SLAM on that break quickly and not hit the gas accidentally. So picture this, Nick driving the Mom van…. and I call out break every so often… “break! …go…..break…..go…break…. go”.  Not bad… let’s take it on the road, well to the end of the cul da sac. He is driving…… GAS!! GAS!!! I shout. WTF MOM??? I mean BREAK! BREAK!. Enough for today.

I don’t know why you think that by gripping the arm rest of the passenger seat that it is going to save you in any way from his ridiculously fast right and left turns but somehow you are willing the car with all your brain power to make the turn, GOD PLEASE MAKE THIS TURN!! With OUT KILLING US OR THE CHILD ON THE BIKE! More importantly the child on the bike.

One day I decided I would give him the blizzard test.  What is this you ask?  No, I wasn’t assumulating a snow storm.   Before switching him to the drivers seat I purchased a blizzard from DQ. I was preparing for a nice relaxing enjoyable ride while enjoying my peanut something or other blizzard. I figured if he passed this test he was ready to graduate from the subdivisions and on to the roads with actual traffic and more then one car every 5-10 minutes.  I don’t even remember eating the darn thing. It was more like shovelling….. of peanuts and ice-cream into in my mouth to prevent me from screaming and crunching those poor little bastard peanuts to fine dust. I just had a thought! A stress ball!!!

He is getting better, especially when I am not in the car. Wonder why this is? Anyways, time to leave this job for the professionals. I could scar him for life and then he would never be able to leave home drive a car.

First Kiss

girl-flowersSomeone is this household has had his first kiss

with a girl,

 at a dance,

for about 7 seconds,

ON THE LIPS!

And how do I know this you ask? I  grilled him!

Of course in a most loving way. Okay, so he didn’t tell me.  But I do have loving one on one conversations with him ( okay, I grill him)

He told his Dad,

while in the car,

on a long drive to play hockey.

I just learned about it last night (Sunday) and it happened on Thursday.

I kind of suspected something when I asked him how the dance was and he replied “Fantastic!”

Fantastic, this is the first fantastic dance.

Dances have been good

and fun

but never FANTASTIC!.

When I picked him up I caught him leaping,

Yes,  literally leaping around his friends.

It is all coming together now.

BUT who does “she” think she is kissing my son! Yes, that was the first thought that came to my mind.

Her lips on his.

His lips on hers.

Those sweet little lips I kiss thousands of times. Those sweet little kisses have been mine. ( okay, he started refusing my kisses a few years back but still.) My boy, now growing into a young man that will be loved by another woman besides me someday.

Oh, that face, those eyes, those kissable lips.

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one year old

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6-8 months old

Look at the face! Those eyes, cheeks, little kissable lips. Of course I spoiled him (not with things but with lots of love and attention). Maybe I am paying the price for that now but in my defence he has always been an intense child pretty much from birth.

Is he is the sensitive child, the emotional child? I don’t know. I’ve worked with children for over 20 years and can figure out other people’s children pretty quickly but with my child I am completely blind and all my strategies fail me.

“Why am I always the one getting in trouble?”   ( heart stab)

Well, let’s see your raging and screaming your head off and I need to get you out this situation ASAP.

He said this to me. He did this to me.

” You need to go upstairs”

More screaming and raging, refusing to move, refusing to let me calming walk/talk him through the situation

Now my patience is running out. I mean, I can only listen for so long to his rude words and disrespectful tone. So yes, now he is in trouble. Yet, he just doesn’t get this or so it seems but he is a smart kid.

After some calm down in this room. I get him on the coach for a talk and try to calming explain that if I walk into the house and the stove is on fire and the Christmas tree is on fire, I am going to put the Christmas tree out first because that is going to burn the house down and the stove second as the fire is not as large. I told him he is the Christmas tree. Then he starts plugging his ears and steam comes out of mine and off to bed he is sent.

He falls asleep in minutes with his clothes on. So all that because he was exhausted. I know sleep can be a major contributor for him.

Tomorrow is a new day, a fresh start and another chance for me to figure out how to best parent this child who is now 11 years old.

We are on week 3 of no electronics ( computer, video games, iPad). He is driving us crazy with his TV shows and he and his brother have taken to playing mini sticks again, hence the “big meltdown” this evening. I can hardly wait for his Christmas bedroom make over so he will have a new desk, chair and a reading corner. I am thinking I may start allowing some utube videos on the computer starting next week. We will see.

I do know that the excitement of Christmas with the late nights to come are triggers. I will work on my reactions to his behavior during this season. I am sure at times I am reactive ( but boys it is hard not to be after the 10th “frigging” out of his mouth).

That’s the plan: Less reactive, more listening when he is speaking calmly. Hey, I can do this! Maybe my training will finally work on my own kiddo.